Anal sex is not as taboo as it once was. Now, there are actually anal sex toys specifically designed for anal sex. Whether you are trying anal for the first time or just want some good ideas, here are some things you should keep in mind about anal sex:

It’s not supposed to hurt. There might be slight discomfort as you get used to the fullness, but if it hurts, you’re going too quickly or aren’t using enough lubricant. Like any muscle on the body, the butt must be worked up to larger sizes. Unlike the vagina; for anal sex, you must use an external personal lubricant to lubricate the area before doing any sort of anal attempt. This is because the butt does not lubricate itself.

If you’ve never tried anal sex before, I recommend trying anal sex toys that are intended for anal sex or your fingers on your own before playing with a partner. Anal sex is going to encompass a whole new variety of sensations and challenges, and until you learn what your body can handle and what works best, you may find it easiest to try out those sensations on your own. That way, there’s no pressure for you to continue, and if you’ve found that you pushed your body too far, you can just stop and move onto something else. Learning your body’s signals for when you’ve stretched it too much or don’t have enough anal lube is a very helpful aspect when doing anal sex with a partner.

Be aware that you must work up to larger sizes. Anal sex can be very pleasurable, but a penis straight out of the gate is not possible for many people who are new to anal sex. Instead, start off with a butt plug or anal starter kit as foreplay to allow the area to get used to the larger item and build up to the size of a penis. If the receiver would like anal play but isn’t sure about the size of a penis, feel free to use anal plugs in the bum while continuing other types of pleasure elsewhere. With this, you could enough do double penetration if that is something the both of you are into.

As always, taking it slowly and maintaining constant communication is a huge aspect of making anal sex work well. Be aware of how your body works, and be willing and trusting enough to communicate when your body requires more lube. If you want to learn your body’s signals, it’s always a good idea to seek out sex toys and dildos for solo use while away from your partner.